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The Zoo 2: Tuesday
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The Zoo 2 - Tuesday (Disk 2 of 2).adf
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spellchk.ZOO
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1993-06-07
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*!EOM
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1822Y00F08franklin18Y00C3NSPELL CHECKERS ARE CARP
1218Y00F04ruby12Y00C4NFishboy/Panda
1201N
0819Y00F05prime08Y00C1NThey are carp. Not that I think that spell checkers are in anyway a type of
0801Nfish, its just that carp is one of the hilarious spelling suggestions that
0801Nthis "carpy" Microsoft spell checker gave for my misspelling of the word
0801N"crapp". The other suggestions were: crape, crappie, crop, crepe, crêpe,
0801Ncrept, cramp, craps, crab and finally crap. This is ridiculous, this is
0801Ninfact a load of bollix, bullax, bullocks or, if you are willing to cycle
0801Nthrough 2000 suggestions including ballast and baskets "Bollocks". Spell
0801Ncheckers are completely useless but not as "pass porn" as Electronic
0801NThesaurus'es.
0801N
0801NIn a juvenile attempt at humour I attempted to enter the word "crap" into
0801Nthis computers thesaurus but it didn't find anything. Interestingly enough it
0801Ncame up with a list of words beginning with "C" that it thought I might like
0801Nto enter instead. One of which was "cradle" upon entering this I was told
0801Nthat grammatically correct alternatives for "cradle" are: "nurturing place",
0801N"origin" or "Ultimate Cause".
0801N
0801NI tried this process again with Shit, unfortunatly the spell checker had
0801Nchanged Shit to Ship without telling me so I was informed that the word
0801N"Ship" could be substituted by the words "Large Boat".
0801N
0801NFinally I thought I might enter the following sentance into the grammar
0801Nchecker.
0801N
0801NLook at that huge goat, isn't it just like the one in the shop window we saw
0801Nlast week, I mean it's just like it, Jesus Christ, What do you think the
0801Nchances of that are then?
0801N
0801NAll it told me was that I should "Try revising the sentance" as "Long
0801Nsentances can be hard to understand". How hard to understand? As hard as:
0801N"Reconsider the para-phrase, verb group may be construthed as being in a
0801Npassive voice", or "Stock pharse, Use sparingly."
0801N
0806Y00C3NMicrosoft, you are all a bunch of "carpy" donkeys with no "bollix" who roll
0801Naround in each others "ship" like great fat "wanders". I have nothing more to
0801Nsay...
*!EOF